Understanding your choices is essential in managing conflict. And, yes, there is always more than one choice! You just have to decide what consequence you will live with. This helps you resolve your own inner conflict. And just as important is the strategy of providing choices for others when you are in conflict.
The narrowing of choice is not motivating. It is the expansion of choice or the opportunity to decide that motivates an individual to go beyond feeling victimized. And in businesses or organizations, it allows an individual to go beyond minimal competence.
When people say, “I had no choice,” it is really an expression of poverty. Shift your thinking to a place of being wealthy regarding your abundance of choices! Choices help you shift from an all or nothing consciousness.
When you need to brush your teeth, you go to the store and there is not just one product for brushing teeth. You are faced with choices within choices. Shall I choose fluoride or no fluoride? Can I have a product with whitener already included? What flavor or taste do I want? Shall I try one out by choosing a small travel version first to see if I like it? What if I like one brand and someone else in my house likes another? Can we each have something that we want?
If you can routinely create opportunities for choosing, people will not feel deprived when they encounter those areas where you, the family or an organization cannot always permit choice. Active participation and involvement in decision-making pushes powerlessness into the background. For instance, even in the area of setting boundaries or disciplines, the individual can be given two or three options and he decides which one he will fulfill. Even a child can appreciate choice in being corrected or disciplined. In order to finish your history report for school, you can choose between not getting to watch TV this evening or you may choose not to go bike riding in the park on Saturday. It’s your choice.
And even if making the final decisions or choices cannot be allowed, being offered the opportunity to provide input is also expansive in creating more abundant thinking. When everyone experiences more choice, conflicts diminish and they can be managed quickly and effectively!
Managing conflict more effectively is a passion for Alberta Fredricksen, a Conflict Guide and Spiritual Life Coach. You can be empowered in your personal and professional conflicts through personal coaching or group facilitations. Check Alberta’s website at www.HeartPeaceNow.com for more FREE resources and articles. Sign up for the Awakened Inner PeaceMaker Program now!