HeartPeace Now Articles

Free eBook from Institute of HeartMath

Institute of HeartMath has a free eBook, State of Ease, for downloading that I have found full of helpful information. Add one more tool to your conflict resolution library.

Your can download the color State of Ease PDF or black and white PDF from HeartPeaceNow.com or directly from the HeartMath website.

There is a “state of ease” that each of us can access to help release emotional turbulence and help maintain coherent alignment between our heart, mind and emotions. Learning to access our personal space of “inner-ease” can be done with minimum practice and in just a little time. When operating in an ease-mode, it’s easier to choose less stressful perceptions and attitudes and re-create “flow” in our daily routines.

Please enjoy this free eBook and HeartMath is encouraging any who likes it to share it with others, so please feel free to post a link to this page!

There are so many positive strategies and processes to use in managing conflict effectively.  And sometimes it’s very important to know how to avoid the pitfalls.  

You will enhance your success in finding heart peace if you stay aware of the energies that are the indicators and outcomes of conflict.  These energies begin with small contrasts that come from mismatched expectations among people.  And there are some mistakes you can avoid making if you know about them before they come up.  

You can safely and effectively avoid these Five Mistakes during Conflict.   

1.      Don’t become detached from the conflict.  Stay aware of energies that are the indicators and outcomes of conflict so you can monitor and track them.  Your enhanced awareness allows you to maintain more control in effective ways.  You really want to have a passionate concern for both the people and the issues within the conflict.  Your engagement and genuine concern can motivate others toward solutions.

 2.      Don’t get caught “awfulizing.”  Every conflict has a history that extends beyond the present.  And “awfulizing” is the tendency to escalate a situation into its worst-case scenario.  One person tries to top the other person’s horrible and awful story.  You want to find common ground in what can be done to resolve problems, not in common misery.   

 3.      Don’t let conflict establish your agenda.  If you want to be an effective change agent in resolving conflict, you must do the important things and consider delegating the urgent things.  Stay aligned with your own agenda, and do those things that only you can do.  There will always be distractions and seemingly urgent things that can be done effectively by others.

 4.      Don’t engage in power struggles.  There is a significant relationship between power and authority.  Your authority increases when you empower others.  Power tends to be perceived as coercive, while authority involves respect.  Unless you are prepared to waste time, don’t argue.  Unless you are prepared to lose, don’t choose to engage in battles.  Taking total responsibility for others’ emotions sets you up to lose in a power struggle.

 5.      Don’t be sidetracked by the projections of others.  Projection is really an emotional release for most people.  And sometimes people project their own flaws and weaknesses onto others.  Avoid accusations and generalizations.  Encourage participation so others can speak safely for themselves.  There really is no need for anyone to be reduced to mind reading.

 Managing conflict more effectively is a passion for Alberta Fredricksen, a Conflict Guide and Spiritual Life Coach.  You can be empowered in your personal and professional conflicts through personal coaching or group facilitations.  Check Alberta’s website at www.HeartPeaceNow.com for more FREE resources and articles.  Sign up for the Awakened Inner PeaceMaker Program now!

Understanding your choices is essential in managing conflict.  And, yes, there is always more than one choice!  You just have to decide what consequence you will live with.  This helps you resolve your own inner conflict.  And just as important is the strategy of providing choices for others when you are in conflict.  

The narrowing of choice is not motivating.  It is the expansion of choice or the opportunity to decide that motivates an individual to go beyond feeling victimized.  And in businesses or organizations, it allows an individual to go beyond minimal competence.   

When people say, “I had no choice,” it is really an expression of poverty.  Shift your thinking to a place of being wealthy regarding your abundance of choices!  Choices help you shift from an all or nothing consciousness.  

When you need to brush your teeth, you go to the store and there is not just one product for brushing teeth.  You are faced with choices within choices.  Shall I choose fluoride or no fluoride?  Can I have a product with whitener already included?  What flavor or taste do I want?  Shall I try one out by choosing a small travel version first to see if I like it? What if I like one brand and someone else in my house likes another?  Can we each have something that we want?  

If you can routinely create opportunities for choosing, people will not feel deprived when they encounter those areas where you, the family or an organization cannot always permit choice.  Active participation and involvement in decision-making pushes powerlessness into the background.  For instance, even in the area of setting boundaries or disciplines, the individual can be given two or three options and he decides which one he will fulfill.   Even a child can appreciate choice in being corrected or disciplined.  In order to finish your history report for school, you can choose between not getting to watch TV this evening or you may choose not to go bike riding in the park on Saturday.  It’s your choice.  

And even if making the final decisions or choices cannot be allowed, being offered the opportunity to provide input is also expansive in creating more abundant thinking.  When everyone experiences more choice, conflicts diminish and they can be managed quickly and effectively!  

Managing conflict more effectively is a passion for Alberta Fredricksen, a Conflict Guide and Spiritual Life Coach.  You can be empowered in your personal and professional conflicts through personal coaching or group facilitations.  Check Alberta’s website at www.HeartPeaceNow.com for more FREE resources and articles.  Sign up for the Awakened Inner PeaceMaker Program now!